I found my roommate’s twitter…
wow i really got around on the second day of school
i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything
…I don’t even drink alcohol
i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music
i don’t even have her number????????????
imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom
"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"
my chemistry teacher calls babies “fresh humans”